I think I will never ever encounter a situation where I want money *less* than when it comes from the fact that someone I love has died. Because not only is it tainted with the undeniable loss of someone I would love to have back in exchange for said money, but because it also involves such insane amounts of signing and dating and wrangling and negotiating and dealing with horrible insurance companies who really can't possibly be manned by living beings, just soulless robots who don't care at all about death or loss or grieving. I swear, there is not a penny that makes it worth losing you or worth dealing with these ghouls. I honestly don't know how some people sleep at night, doing such work.
I know you wanted those of us who you left money for to use it for something important or joyful and I have no end of appreciation for that care and generosity; please don't think this is me being ungrateful. But it really is about the worst way to get money I can possibly think of. And making use of it does not make me miss you one iota less.